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For parents · Manners

Teaching children Islamic manners (adab) from the Sunnah

The short answer

Teach Islamic manners one at a time, by example first, with the hadith behind each one. Start with daily ones: Bismillah and the right hand at meals, salam when meeting, asking permission before entering, speaking kindly, and controlling anger. Practise each for a week, praise it when you see it, and tell a story that shows it.

Last updated 6 min readBy the ilmbee team

Islamic manners, or adab, are the everyday side of faith: how we eat, greet, speak, walk, ask and forgive. Children can learn them long before they can understand a lesson on belief, and every one comes with a real hadith or ayah you can share. Allah says of the Prophet ﷺ, "And indeed, you are of a great moral character" (Qur'an 68:4). This guide gives you ten manners to start with, the source for each, and a way to teach them that does not depend on nagging.

Ten manners from the Sunnah every child can learn

  1. Bismillah, the right hand, and the food in front of you. The Prophet ﷺ taught a young boy at his table: "Say Bismillah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you" (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). See The Manners of Eating (Book 20).
  2. Alhamdulillah after eating. Allah is pleased with the servant who eats and then praises Him for it (Sahih Muslim).
  3. Greeting with salam. Greeting a Muslim you meet is the first of the six rights the Prophet ﷺ listed, along with accepting invitations, giving sincere advice, replying to a sneeze, visiting the sick and attending the funeral (Sahih Muslim). See Six Beautiful Rights Between Muslims (Book 76).
  4. Asking permission before entering. The Qur'an tells us not to enter others' homes until we have asked permission and greeted the people inside (Qur'an 24:27), and the Sunnah is to ask up to three times and leave if there is no answer (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). At home, this means knocking on a closed door. See Knock Before You Enter (Book 70).
  5. Good words, or silence. "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good or stay silent" (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). See Bad Words Come Back Home (Book 71).
  6. Controlling anger. "The strong person is not the one who throws others down. The strong person is the one who controls himself when he is angry" (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). See The Strong Person (Book 56) and Kindness Is Stronger Than Anger (Book 72).
  7. Honouring parents, and mothers above all. When a man asked who most deserved his good company, the Prophet ﷺ said, "Your mother," three times, and then, "your father" (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). See Who Deserves the Best Treatment? (Book 69).
  8. Walking gently. The servants of the Most Merciful walk on the earth gently (Qur'an 25:63), and Luqman told his son not to walk proudly, to keep a moderate pace and to lower his voice (Qur'an 31:18-19). See The Manners of Walking (Book 21).
  9. Telling the truth. Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). See The Honest Buyer and the Hidden Treasure (Book 28).
  10. Kindness to animals. A man saw a dog dying of thirst, climbed down a well, filled his shoe with water and gave it to drink, and Allah forgave him (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). See The Man and the Thirsty Dog (Book 51).

How do I teach manners without nagging?

  • Model it first. Say Bismillah out loud at meals. Knock on your child's door. Greet them with salam when they come home. Children copy what they see far more than what they are told.
  • One manner a week. Choose one, tell your child it is "this week's Sunnah", and practise it together. Next week, add another and keep the first going.
  • Tell the hadith as a story. "There was a boy called 'Umar who grew up in the Prophet's ﷺ care. When he ate, his hand used to wander all over the dish..." A short story with a child in it is remembered long after a rule is forgotten.
  • Notice it out loud. "You knocked before you came in. That's the Sunnah." Specific praise works better than a general "good boy" or "good girl".
  • Correct gently, and in private. When a Bedouin made a serious mistake in the masjid and people rushed at him, the Prophet ﷺ stopped them, had it cleaned, and taught the man kindly, saying, "You were sent to make things easy, not to make them difficult" (Sahih al-Bukhari). Children respond to the same gentleness. A Bedouin Urinated in the Masjid (Book 22) tells this story for children.

Which manners should a young child learn first?

Start with the ones your child practises every day, because daily practice is what makes a habit. For ages 4 to 6, that is usually the manners of eating, sleeping and greeting: Bismillah, the right hand, Alhamdulillah, salam, and the bedtime Sunnah (see A 10-minute bedtime routine). For ages 7 to 9, add asking permission, kind words and controlling anger. For ages 10 and 11, add the bigger ideas behind manners: honesty when no one is watching, keeping promises, and kindness that expects nothing back, as in A Secret Act of Kindness (Book 83).

Why teach manners through the Prophet's ﷺ example?

Because it gives children a reason, not just a rule. "Eat with your right hand" is a rule. "The Prophet ﷺ taught a boy just your age to eat with his right hand" is a story with a person in it, and a person they can love. Manners taught this way become a way of loving the Prophet ﷺ, and they last.

What does a manners week look like?

Take "asking permission" as an example. On Sunday, read Knock Before You Enter (Book 70) together and talk about the ayah. On Monday, practise knocking on each other's doors, and let your child knock on yours. All week, notice every time they knock. On Friday, ask them to teach a younger sibling or cousin. Most manners can be taught this way, in five minutes a day, with very little nagging.

The books in this guide

From ilmbee Series 01, 100 illustrated books read in order. The first 3 are free to read.

Frequently asked questions

What are Islamic manners for kids?

Islamic manners, or adab, are the everyday habits taught in the Qur'an and Sunnah: saying Bismillah and eating with the right hand, greeting with salam, asking permission before entering, speaking kindly, controlling anger, honouring parents, telling the truth and being kind to animals.

At what age should I start teaching my child Islamic manners?

As early as they can copy you, usually from age two or three. Start with the daily manners of eating, sleeping and greeting, and add asking permission, kind words and controlling anger from around six or seven.

How do I teach my child to eat the Sunnah way?

Teach them what the Prophet ﷺ taught a young boy at his table: say Bismillah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). Afterwards, say Alhamdulillah. Do it yourself at every meal, and your child will follow.

What does Islam teach children about kindness to animals?

The Prophet ﷺ told of a man who gave water to a thirsty dog and was forgiven by Allah for it (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). Children can learn from this that kindness to any creature is loved by Allah.

How should I correct my child's bad manners?

Gently, briefly and in private. Explain the right way, show it, and give them a chance to try again. The Prophet ﷺ corrected people with kindness, and reminded his Companions that they were sent to make things easy, not difficult (Sahih al-Bukhari).

Sources

Qur'an references are given as surah:ayah, with the meaning in plain English. Hadith are from the collections named.

  • Qur'an 68:4 (Al-Qalam): "And indeed, you are of a great moral character."
  • Sahih al-Bukhari 5376; Sahih Muslim 2022: "Say Bismillah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you" (to the boy 'Umar ibn Abi Salamah).
  • Sahih Muslim 2734: Allah is pleased with the servant who praises Him after eating and drinking.
  • Sahih Muslim 2162: the six rights of a Muslim upon another, beginning with greeting with salam.
  • Qur'an 24:27 (An-Nur): do not enter houses other than your own until you have asked permission and greeted the people inside.
  • Sahih al-Bukhari 6245; Sahih Muslim 2153: ask permission three times; if no answer, go back.
  • Sahih al-Bukhari 6018; Sahih Muslim 47: whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good or stay silent.
  • Sahih al-Bukhari 6114; Sahih Muslim 2609: the strong person is the one who controls himself when angry.
  • Sahih al-Bukhari 5971; Sahih Muslim 2548: "Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father."
  • Qur'an 25:63 (Al-Furqan): the servants of the Most Merciful walk on the earth gently.
  • Qur'an 31:18-19 (Luqman): do not walk proudly; be moderate in your pace and lower your voice.
  • Sahih al-Bukhari 6094; Sahih Muslim 2607: truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise.
  • Sahih al-Bukhari 2363; Sahih Muslim 2244: the man who gave water to a thirsty dog, and Allah forgave him.
  • Sahih al-Bukhari 220: the Bedouin in the masjid; "You were sent to make things easy, not to make them difficult."

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